The question of identity and belonging for Bangladeshis abroad is complex, emotional, and well worth exploring. It is a fascinating dynamic of how they navigate their roots while making a new home in a foreign land. It is a paradoxical experience—by relocating in a foreign land, they experience something that is both incredibly alienating yet also familiar. They could be walking through a busy shopping mall, waiting in line at a checkout, or passing someone on a crowded street when they suddenly encounter a stranger who feels familiar. Even before they speak, they recognize something in that stranger that feels like home. It is an instant, unspoken connection with someone they never met, making a total stranger feel like an old friend. Without knowing anything about them, they just know the other person is Bengali. The first question that pops into the mind is always, ‘Apni ki Bangali?’—Are you a Bengali? —and from there, the rest is history. It is as if there is an unspoken bond and familiarity that only another Bengali can notice. People who might have remained strangers back home suddenly become close connections in a foreign land; they are no longer strangers. In this article, I draw on my experience as a long-term Bangladeshi immigrant navigating cultural identity across the globe—from the UK and Malaysia to a decade in Fiji and now regional Australia. I want to explore how they can find peace in new lands while still honoring where they come from.

My journey deepened during my young adulthood when I relocated with my parents to Fiji, where I was exposed to a multifaceted sense of identity and belonging. My father was an academic; while he had a clearly delineated role, I relied on myself and wanted to create my own voice—my identity amid a lively culture. This immersion into local Fijian culture sometimes set me apart from my own Bengali community. As an instinctual observation (not much, but enough) at festivals and gatherings, comparisons were drawn between myself and other Bangladeshi migrant youths and teenagers in the community. Despite being seen as adaptable, I felt like an outsider in my community, perceived as different rather than fitting in, amid ongoing social pressures, judgements and expectations.

It was in these moments of exclusion that I started to grapple with how my differences might make me somehow unworthy to belong. All the comparisons, snide remarks, cliquishness, raised eyebrows and maligning made me feel that the treatment I received from the community was only performative and I had to be in certain ways to be accepted. However, those experiences prepared me for challenges and taught me to find a balance between celebrating local culture and honoring my own roots.

This tension reflects a choice that every Bangladeshi immigrant living abroad may face. Staying strictly within their community often means constantly ‘performing’ or playing a specific role just to fit in or belong. They may feel an underlying pressure to follow certain rules and expectations to avoid being judged or labeled. I found that when I ventured beyond my own culture and engaged with the wider world, I discovered a deeper sense of belonging and felt less like an outsider. Away from those community pressures, I didn't feel the need to conform to a specific mould. This is a difficult balance I have experienced deeply: between the safety of my own circle and the freedom of the world outside.

Moving to Australia as an independent, married immigrant offered new possibilities, with adult obligations and distinct societal factors. My sense of belonging here is viewed through a different lens than in my earlier years. While my ability to fit into other cultures helped me connect with local communities, it sometimes complicated things within my own community, making it difficult to feel like I truly belonged there. Social gatherings met my need for companionship and connection, yet they underscored an ongoing alienation. Occasional quiet glances, curious questions, witty remarks, and some noisy whispers revealed that I was walking a line between traditional and diverse worlds as a Bangladeshi migrant woman.

A realization kicked in: my time living away from home had given me a distinct mindset. To me, being part of the wider world and communities doesn't mean I’ve lost my identity; it is what defines it. At times, this viewpoint conflicted with the norms of my community. Although it mirrored a lesson that belonging is not determined by reliance on just one community or set of people, but dependent on a combination of several factors; most importantly, external influences, experiences and connections beyond our own cultures and communities.

Conversely, the Bengali community abroad can also be a source of pride, belonging, and connection, but at times this can complicate things. I remember one Pohela Baishakh—a day spent enjoying delicious food and music, celebrating togetherness. I was happy to be there, yet I felt an unspoken pressure to conform. I remember one specific moment at a community event. I was dressed traditionally and doing everything expected of me, yet a single witty remark made me feel completely out of place. It was a brief interaction, but in that moment, the pressure to conform felt much heavier than the joy of the celebration. It was a gut-wrenching moment that reminded me how conditional my sense of belonging could be.

Despite community challenges, my experiences living abroad taught me the joy of connecting with people from different backgrounds. Sometimes, we feel less alienated or judged when forging connections outside our own communities/cultures, reinforcing that connection can also be found through shared experiences and mutual respect.

But identity is complex and multi-faceted. It may emerge not only from common cultural backgrounds but also from celebration of both shared and disparate qualities. As I travelled through these diverse foreign landscapes, I came to understand the significance of a multifaceted identity. It made me realize that I can take pride in my Bengali roots and have an appreciation and understanding of other cultures as a migrant living in a foreign land.

The diverse experiences have taught me that finding belonging isn't about letting others define our identity; it's more about owning our story and choosing which parts of those experiences we want to build our identity on. These challenges exist in the outside world, though they can be downright tough to navigate as a Bengali living in a foreign land; their origin is always born of love for our people, roots, and culture.

To those with stories similar to mine, we must strive to blend both cultures into the person we choose to be. Every individual has a story to tell, one different from the rest, stitched with remnants of our origins and the cultures we are exposed to. Ultimately, belonging is not merely about fitting into a predefined mould; it lies in shared beliefs, a foundation of mutual respect, pride in our roots and our understanding of one another beyond social expectations. 

(Nushrat is pursuing her Higher Research Degree (PhD) in Creative Writing at the Faculty of Arts & Education, Charles Stuart University. Her Ph.D. thesis explores gender performance and multiple identities of female characters from South Asian backgrounds. She is a lecturer (on study leave) in the School of Communications, Language & Literature at Fiji National University in Suva, Fiji Islands. She is an active researcher with a keen interest in literature, post-colonial literature, gender, feminism, and voices, focusing on gender performativity.)